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Down Arguable and low

Black women talk candidly about men "on the down-low". Warning: If you go nuts at the reference of the word sex, reading this short article might distort your moral worths.
On a blustery winter season morning in December 1999, Essex Garvey, a stay-at-home mom of 4, was arranging laundry, when a glaring exhibition caught her eye. On the TV was a female just recently diagnosed with HIV. Noting the pained look on the woman's face, Garvey discovered that the culprit was the woman's sweetheart, a confessed bisexual. Pointing extremely at the TV she sighed: "Damn, that woman ought to have known her male was poking the log at both ends of the totem pole. Now, that would never ever happen to me."
3 years later on Garvey faced a growing issue amongst African-American women. She discovered that her other half was embroiled in a steamy down-low affair. For those unfamiliar with the expression, "down- low" refers to men who are wed or have girlfriends however secretly sleep with men.
Garvey who separated her other half in 2003, said the genuine catastrophe of this epidemic is the refusal of many women to question their partner's sexual history. "As women it is our responsibility to discover as much as we can about the men we sleep with," she said stoically.
The DL Debate
An admitted down lower, King is author of the best-seller On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep with Men. The book not only exposed this controversial taboo, it opened African-Americans eyes to a subject they previously selected to disregard, however now can no longer reject its presence.
In examining this situation, 2 questions that can not be ignored is exactly what result down-lowism has on the health and household of women who are cognizant of their partner's sexual orientation and those who don't have an idea. Included amongst the trio was Cynthia, a popular attorney who only dates married men; Quiana, a high school drop out who insists that "having a piece of male is much better than no male at all," and Lucia, a 35-year- old administrative assistant formerly in a relationship with a male on "the DL". The first area will be committed to health and the troubling element of the Down-Low Affliction, an increase in HIV amongst women of color.
Speaking Out
" Hearing the results of my HIV test, all of a sudden anger turned to tears and I in fact hugged the medical professional. It was then that I understood that I was now part of the Down Low Brigade," states Lucia, explaining how she felt after learning her test results were unfavorable. For Lucia this was undoubtedly terrific news, based upon a report by the Centers for Disease Control that states African American women represent a whopping 68 percent of brand-new HIV cases.
Experts maintain the increase in HIV amongst Black women is attributable to several factors consisting of bisexuality. "Just take the reality that so many Black men have been incarcerated. Dr. Poussaint advised women to be "extremely mindful and get to know their partner."
Not remarkably, a large number of men on the down- low refuse to characterize themselves as gay or bisexual. "The typical person equates bisexual men with womanhood," states Lucia with a twinge of cynicism in her voice. Now after learning exactly what I know now, I wonder exactly what a regular male is."
When asked exactly what actions they would take if they discovered their men were on the DL, Quiana and Cynthia had significantly various responses. "Like I said, having a piece of male in your life is much better than having absolutely nothing at all," Quiana restated. "So, if I found out he was on the down-low, I 'd ask him to make a decision regarding whether he wished to be with me or with men. That's all good if he selected me. But if he chose that a male is better, we might still link, however sex would run out the concern." Looking at Quiana in her leather jacket and jeans skirt sitting atop a pair of designer boots, I delicately asked "Is having a male in your life that crucial?" The action was not unforeseen. "Hell yeah. I gots to have the link. And like I said we can link, however he ain't getting none of this," she states pointing and chuckling to her genitalia. For Cynthia the answer was just the opposite. "I have a history of only dating married men. But if I found out among them was on the DL, I would stop seeing him." Just like that?" I asked. "Just like that,"she states emphatically.

Pointing extremely at the TV she sighed: "Damn, that woman ought to have known her male was poking the log at both ends of the totem pole. For those unfamiliar with the expression, "down- low" refers to men who are wed or have girlfriends however secretly sleep with men.
"As women it is our responsibility to discover as much as we can about the men we sleep with," she said stoically. Included amongst the trio was Cynthia, a popular attorney who only dates married men; Quiana, a high school drop out who insists that "having a piece of male is much better than no male at all," and Lucia, a 35-year- old administrative assistant formerly in a relationship with a male on "the DL". "The typical person equates bisexual men with womanhood," states Lucia with a twinge of cynicism in her voice.
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